I think the VCR is a TOAD. The only other work arounds are probably in the Home Automation department.
If you have an x10 appliance module you could try turning it off momentarily and back on. As you probably know the Pronto can send IR commands to a ~$30 IR receiver that in turn can signals over the power line to control lighting etc.
This could only work if brief power interruption doesn't make it lose the clock settings but will turn it off then that is a discrete off. On would be the prior sequence plus power toggle. This is little "ugly" -- a loud clunk when the relay is activated in the Appliance module.
If you have a PC based HA system then there are a variety of Parallel and Serial port IR transmitters and sensors that you could determine whether the unit is on. There is a little circuit that can detect whether the composite video is on. I'll be glad to send more information. But at the current price of VCR's it probably cheaper to sell your VCR on eBay and buy one with discrete commands.
But, now that you have the secret weapon of MakeHex you will be finding all those hidden functions in your other devices!
