There are a couple of ways to do it.
1. Replace the lamp modules with the PCS Multi-Module so that the lamps will resond to scenes. Since you don't have a learning remote you'll either need to use separate keystrokes to start the movie and initiate the lighting scene or you'll need an IR transceiver that will learn the DVD's IR code. For that you can use the HAN-01 or Ocelot.
2. If you don't want to replace the lamp modules then you'll need an automation controller which can do the slow fade for you. The Ocelot would be able to do that.
3. If you want to stick with the IR543 you could if you go with the PCS Multi-Module for the lamps and replace your remote with a remote that can do a macro which would send the DVD's command followed by the X10 command for starting the scene.
You can see all of these products at
http://www.homeautomationnet.com/