Is there a way you can put a timer on the power to the shade controller (does it plug into the wall rather than being hard-wired to power) so that it only operates during the day? Then your remote could always activate the shade controller -- it just wouldn't do anything at night since it had no power. You might be able to accomplish that with a combination of these:
[Link: smarthome.com] [Link: smarthome.com]. Of course, if the shade were already open at night, then you wouldn't be able to close it because the controller would have no power so you'd have to manually turn on power to the shade controller with the 4035 unit in that case. But if you wanted to provide a "shade controller power" control in your remote, you could add one of these as well:
[Link: smarthome.com] -- but you'd need to get the IR controls for it. I think I saw what you'd need for that in the "files" section here at remotecentral. This is a little convoluted, so I'm not sure if it would work, but it may give you some additional ideas.
mike